The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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