i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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