i permit you to call me
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
