i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
