and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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