So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
