Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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