I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize