i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
