thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
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