Is it because I queefed?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
