i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize