Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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