I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize