i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
