I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
MIDGETS
????
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize