I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
All I want is dick and wine.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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