the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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