Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
