It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
