we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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