bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
