YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
