I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
