Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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