I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
