do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize