Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I want to fling myself into the sun
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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