But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
How many fucks given?
0.12846
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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