Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
