hotel room ftw
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
