i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
