Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My butt remains clenched, sir.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
