i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
