i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
