So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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