Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize
