that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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