You really coming over, don't trick.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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