it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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