this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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