i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
