listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
