There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
