Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
