Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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