His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I could fuck to npr.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
