If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
