So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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