She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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