what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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