Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
