sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
