I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
