One girl and one boy is just not enough.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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