apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
