What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
This is classic penis vs brain.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
