Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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