As long as you're not dating white guys again.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
