this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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