the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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