i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
