i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
